Your students love talking with you - they'll tell you when
their dog had puppies, when their grandparents are coming to visit, and when
you're being cranky.
"Mrs. Piersol-Miller, did you go for a run today?"
"No."
"Maybe you should have."
I felt the heat climb up to my cheeks.
Behind the Scenes: How long does it take?
- Get to know kids' names and an interesting tidbit about them right away. They are quirky, funny, sensitive kids who want to be recognized for their individuality. If you haven’t done this yet, give them a quick Google check-in with get-to-know-you questions. Then, learn the details they share with you.
- Do "get to know you" activities beyond the first day of school. For the first few months, you can weave this into your instruction so that kids can get to know you and each other better. Use:
- Four Corners - ask a question with four choices and have kids go to the corner that matches their answer
- Line up - ask a question with a scaled score of 1-10 ("How much do you like to read?) Students can line up where they belong
- Small groups - take a position on a topic and organize to debate it.
- Set clear boundaries. Some decisions are negotiable, like listening to music or picking a partner, others are not. Find out what decisions they'd like to have some say in, recognizing that you have the final vote.
- Increase your grace. That doesn't mean you shouldn't set boundaries and stick to them. Recognize that it's kids' jobs to push and yours to decide when to push back and when to give a little.
The conversation where my student called me out for being cranky initially made me angry. It felt rude. In the few seconds where I debated how to respond, I decided to extend grace.
I had told them that running cleared my head and made me calmer. And they'd remembered.
And given me a pass. They hadn’t shut down, they’d been honest in that should-I-be-angry or should-I-recognize that-you-caught-me way?
I coughed, my brain racing to find the right words. And then I laughed. "You're right."
The whole class let out a collective breath, we laughed, and then we got back to work.
- Walk closer to their desk.
- Put a hand on their shoulder.
- Get down at eye level and ask if they need to go get a drink or stretch their legs for a minute.
- Stop and wait. It's much more effective
than raising your voice.
In front of the class
Kids want to be important to you. That's why learning their names is essential. The closer you get to them, the more they'll talk to you about the stuff that's important.
And that's what you want.
That kid who called me out for being cranky? He had been held back and was, unhappily, in my Math class with his younger brother. He started asking for extra help and opening up about his math struggles. In many ways, he taught me how to become a better teacher.
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